How to Reduce the Pain of Loneliness , There are ways to heal loneliness even if we can't be near other people.

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Loneliness may be painful. The vast majority of us have been there. Many people may feel alone, especially during this quarantine period. We may be more connected than ever because of technology, social media, and the accelerating pace of life, but "human moments" of uninterrupted face-to-face communication may be becoming increasingly rare.


According to a sociological survey, one out of every four Americans feels like they don't have anyone to talk to about their issues. According to a recent study, loneliness has been linked to an increased risk of death in the general population. In earlier writings, I have discussed the importance of social connections and the importance of vulnerability, which is a necessary ingredient to intimacy.


We thrive when surrounded by people who love and care for us. In a study of Stanford students, spending time with friends and loved ones was the most often cited activity that brought them the most happiness.


Isolation is a painful experience, and it's not surprising. According to a recent study using brain imaging, the neural pain matrix is activated in our brains when we feel excluded. Several studies have shown that ostracizing others hurts us as much as being ostracized. According to our hypothesis, loneliness may also be linked to the pain matrix.


All of us are self-sufficient, at least from a particular standpoint. We enter and exit this world on our own. It doesn't matter how many friends we have; no one else can truly understand or experience our thoughts and emotions.


On the other side, we are constantly connected no matter how few friends we have. People worldwide are connected to us through the network of economic and social interactions that transport our food and clothing into our kitchens and onto our bodies. By the air we breathe, we are inextricably linked to the other humans who share this ecosphere. The ground we tread on connects us to every other human and animal on the globe. We are both isolated and interconnected.


Here are some strategies for dealing with loneliness when it gets the better of you.


Make a complete connection with oneself.


Most of us have developed coping mechanisms for dealing with unpleasant feelings, such as loneliness, by focusing on something else. There are both "good" and "unhealthy" forms of distraction that we might engage in, such as reading, exercising, working, or binge-watching television. Overeating, drinking, or working too much can lead to weight gain, weariness, or addiction, while exercising too much or working too hard might lead to the opposite. It tends to endure even more when we oppose something, as demonstrated by Harvard's Dan Wegner. Ignoring the root cause of an issue does not help us find a solution.


On the other hand, children frequently let their feelings run wild. Adults may find this behavior a little immature, but children overcome their negative feelings just as fast and go on to the next thing. Adults often carry emotions for years to suppress and manage them. To let go of a sense, we may need to allow it to surface and give it our full attention.


To help you overcome your fear of being alone, here are three tips:


1. Give the feeling its fullest expression. Emotions should take precedence. This exercise may be uncomfortable for those accustomed to ignoring their feelings at first. However, allowing oneself to experience the emotion fully may help it pass through you more quickly: Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling; if tears occur, do so. Pay attention to the sensations and the thoughts that arise. Allow yourself to feel the discomfort completely.


2. Go into a state of trance. For some people, silence can be challenging or even frightening. We've grown accustomed to the constant droning of televisions, vehicle radios, iPods, text messages, phone calls, Facebook notifications, tweets, and emails. Set a time limit, such as 30 minutes, for the stillness. If you want, you can go for a stroll or do some light exercise, such as swimming, at that period. It's essential to make sure the activity doesn't become a distraction. Decide on a move that will allow you to sit quietly for a while. Be as aware as you can of what is happening around you and within you at all times.


3. Meditation is a great way to do this. Meditation is no longer viewed as an arcane, mystical, or foreign practice. Even though meditation is relatively basic, it may also be highly challenging. Allow yourself to be present with whatever thoughts, feelings, and sensations come without attempting to alter or alter them. Observe them like a mother watching her child at play. Be patient; it will all work out in the end. When things get a little tense, summon your courage, strength, perseverance, and patience. Don't get out of bed until the timer has expired. You can begin by sitting for only five minutes and gradually increase your time to 20 or 30 minutes.


Readers tempted to go forward because being fully present with their sensations sounds too challenging should keep in mind that distraction only prolongs the intensity of the emotion you are experiencing. The researchers found that being present, even in the face of terrible experiences, is more pleasant than not being there in front of bad experiences. Regardless of how much we despise the present moment, these findings show that we are happy if we don't take our minds off it.


Keep in touch with your inner and outer worlds.


A new study demonstrates that we receive the psychological and physical health benefits of social connection not based on the number of friends we have but on our internal and subjective sense of connection toward others. As a result, even if we are only friends with one person or none, we get all of the benefits of our friendship. This conclusion is encouraging since it shows that we have control over our psyches.


4. Take good care of yourself. We frequently ignore the signals from our bodies due to our distracted way of life. Over-exercising or under-exercising can lead to obesity and other health problems. We also believe that our physical well-being is separate from our mental health. The opposite is true. Taking care of our bodies naturally improves our mood and attitude in life, as anyone who has embarked on a good diet or exercise plan can tell you. I once heard a divorced acquaintance tell me, "If my head is okay, then everything else is fine." Taking good care of our bodies is an excellent approach to our minds.


5. Serve "Be compassionate, for everyone you meet is waging a hard struggle," is a saying that we can all identify with. We are never alone in our sorrow. These opportunities allow us to show people kindness and a desire to help. We can all make a difference in the lives of others, even if it's only a simple smile.


The process of providing service is pretty straightforward. "Always begin by helping the person closest to you," Mother Theresa advised. A little act of kindness, no matter how big or tiny, can go a long way toward making someone's day better. We can help people, animals, and even the environment.


Your act of service, no matter what it is, is a way to connect with others and alleviate your loneliness. Compassion and kindness have been shown in studies to have significant benefits. When feeling low or alone, we tend to see things from a local perspective. The heart has been connected to a sense of well-being since helping others can transform our mood and re-energize us. "The best way to find oneself is to lose yourself in the service of others," said Mahatma Gandhi.


6. Take time to be in nature. If interacting with others is difficult, try spending time in nature instead. Walking in nature, even in the event of despair, can improve our well-being. According to a recent study, another study found that exposure to the environment makes us more loving and willing to share with others. Experiencing awe at the sight of a landscape can be aided by spending time in nature. Nature is a great place to cultivate wonder, which can help us see the world in a new light. Awe, typically evoked by stunning natural sights like a starry sky or a vast horizon, has been shown to reduce our sense of time and increase our overall well-being.


7. Practice meditation focusing on loving-kindness. The goal of this meditation is to cultivate a greater capacity for love and kindness toward those around us. According to research I conducted at Stanford, even seven minutes of this practice can help us feel more deeply connected to people. Learn how to meditate on loving-kindness here.


8. Be in love with who you are. You will never be alone if you become friends with yourself, Maxwell Maltz noted in his book. For the same reasons we avoid loneliness, we often avoid solitude. We are afraid of being alone. On the other hand, being by yourself allows you to do as you wish, regardless of the consequences. You have complete freedom to do as you like with your dancing, eating, entertainment, and viewing preferences. When we're alone, we're less likely to be distracted or aroused by our surroundings or other people, which is why solitude is so important.


'I must be alone a lot,' Audrey Hepburn once quipped. I'd be delighted if I could spend the entire weekend in my apartment by myself. My method of refueling is the same." Being alone may be incredibly therapeutic and blissful even when you're with others. Beyond our thoughts and feelings lies a vast expanse of stillness, tranquility, and contentment. Whether amid a beautiful sunset, when you're waking up before your ideas have flooded your head, or when you're doing something kind or selfless, we all have access to it at some point. That well-being spreads throughout the remainder of our day as we get more adept at accessing it.


Remember that you're not the only one dealing with these issues. All of us are susceptible. As a result of this knowledge, you may open your heart and feel linked to all. However, loneliness is a painful experience that may also teach you a lot about compassion and understanding for others.


The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known to suffer, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths, wrote Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who worked with dying patients all her life in the depths of their fragility. Compassion, tenderness, and a deep loving concern abound in the hearts of those who possess these qualities. Beautiful people do not just happen." It's possible to grow, learn, and become more empathetic and thankful through even the most unpleasant experiences.



Image source : https://pixabay.com/id/photos/matahari-terbenam-pohon-3156176/

Article source : https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_ways_to_ease_the_pain_of_loneliness

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